No Nike shorts! No Nike shorts!

People, we have a serious fashion emergency on our hands. As many of you are well aware, our fellow females are falling victim to the Great Style Annihilator: The Nike Tempo Shorts.

These shorts first appeared harmless. Their natural habitats are environments where athletics and cardiovascular activities are abound. We initially only saw them in or around gymnasiums, work out facilities, or clad around women who were running or biking.

This, however, is no longer the case. These Nike shorts have invaded nearly every crevasse of day-to-day society and have become extremely invasive and hostile in their take-over. They are now seen at the theater, in class, and even in nice restaurants where servers come to your table. We had hoped that they would not be able to survive the winter weather as they were biologically structured for temperatures in excess of 70º Fahrenheit, however, they have formed a symbiotic relationship with two other fashion anomalies known as The Ugg boot and the black, cotton, leggings to ensure their survival and proliferation.

Various blogs and Facebook groups have joined forces to fight off the Nike shorts invasion. I, myself- Mrs. Indiana E. Adams, have turned this very post into a petition for women everywhere to declare that we will stave off the mass popularity of these shorts outside of gyms. I hope these shorts become a thing of the past: much like the Umbro fad of 1993. Diaper butt and built-in underpants, we abolish you!

By leaving a comment on this post, you agree to the following:

We, the undersigned, agree that wearing Nike shorts in situations that do not involve working out or athletics is a fashion tyranny that must be stopped. We shall not wear Nike shorts with Uggs. We shall not wear Nike shorts with leggings and flip flops. We shall not wear Nike shorts to nice restaurants, and we shall encourage our female friends to do likewise. We endeavor to stop the insanity and to spread our credo of "Just DON'T do it".