HOW TO: Become the Best Gift Giver, EVER in three easy steps

Let's face it, gift-giving is like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded while other people are watching—tricky and slightly anxiety-inducing. I mean, who hasn't doom scrolled Amazon in the dark wondering, "What do I get for my husband’s parents this year?!" Been there. Done that. Skipped the t-shirt. But as your Internet Bestie, I’m here to help. Gifts are my love language and I want to help you banish present-picking panic forever. So fire up this holiday playlist and let’s start at the top: how to become the best gift giver, ever:

1. Master the Art of Stealth Listening & Social Spying

First things first - become a ninja listener all year round. Pay attention when your loved ones drop subtle hints. Did they mention their love for corgis? Bingo! Now you know that these corgi slippers would be a great gift. Start a note in your phone listen for phrases like “I wish…” and “that’s so cute!”. When November rolls around, you’ll have intel on everyone. Stealth listening is the secret sauce to gifting gold.

This is also your chance to channel your inner Sherlock. Stalk their socials or point blank ask their other loved ones for ideas. Being a detective has never been so much fun! Just remember, the goal is to surprise, not spook.

When they open your gift they will gasp, “How did you KNOW?!” And you’ll feel super proud of yourself.

2. Show Them You Know Them

Ask yourself:

• What are their hobbies? Especially consider any new hobbies. In my experience everyone over 40 seems to pick up a nerdy hobby! Are they newly into bird watching? Foraging? Pickleball? It’s probably pickleball.

• Are they part of any fandoms? At this point I assume everyone is a Swiftie. No? Well, how about Harry Styles? Friends? The Office? Harry Potter? Sports teams? Everybody likes something. Social media should tip you off on this.

• Do they have a Pinterest account? I know I keep a wishlist on Pinterest, maybe they do, too.

• What about Amazon? Do they keep a wishlist on Amazon? If so and it appears to be recent, don’t even think about going rogue.

• Do they have favorite stores or brands? Whoever started the rumor that gift cards are a mindless gift is dead wrong. If you know their favorite store or activity for sure, get them a gift card for that. I have never been disappointed about an Anthropolgie or AMC gift card. On the contrary: they’re some of my favorite gifts and I feel known whenever I get those!

• Are they a pet lover? A gift featuring their favorite non-human could be super cute. Gifts for the pet are also a gift to them. Upgraded leashes and pet beds are good gifts.

• Do they have a big trip on the horizon? An AWAY suitcase, compression packing cubes, a packable hat and magnetic hat clip, or Cadence travel containers could be the way to go.

• Do they have a new job? Say congrats and Merry Christmas at the same time with high end office essentials (think: desk accessories or a work bag) or a wardrobe upgrade… or better yet? A Nuuly subscription for women’s clothes.

3. Think Outside the Box

Get personal or get creative. Personalized gifts are the superheroes of thoughtful presents (just be sure to give the makers plenty of runway). Men tend to get gifts that are BBQ, alcohol, or sports related. Women tend to get robes, scarves, and candles (that are usually not a scent they like). These are fine, but will they be memorable? Will they be things they already have plenty of? Custom photo books (look at Artifact Uprising —$20 off with my code— , Chatbooks, and Persnickety Box), preserved memories, and anything with their name or their kids’ names on it will win. The more unique, the better.

Remember: the value of a gift isn't in the price tag; it's in the feels. Choose gifts that tug at heartstrings, that bring a tear to the eye, a big, hearty laugh, or will be something they use all the time and will think of you. The emotional resonance is what makes your gift unforgettable.

And honestly? There’s no shame in asking a person what kind of gift they’d like. Every birthday and Christmas I email Chris a list of 10-15 things I’d genuinely love in in varying price points and I encourage him to surprise me with something from my list. Does he do this? No. He almost always gets me something else. But you know what? I can’t win ‘em all. I said I was a good gift giver, not a good gift getter.

Be sure to check out my offbeat gift guides, curated with love and a sprinkle of weird, all inspired by your cries for gift-giving help on Instagram. Say hello to unconventional gift ideas for 'Hard to shop for husbands,' 'Boomer Moms,' and 'Boomer Dads' (yes, we're getting specific):